Greetings from a long sabbatical, readers! I know what you’re thinking, how could I have qualified for a sabbatical if I’ve only done two blog posts, one being a fluffy introductory at that. But I’m sure some of you have already figured it out – my dad died. More on that later. For now, I’ll make my absence up to you with an extra long post. Do hold back your tears of joy, they’ll impede your reading ability.

Pro Tip #1: A recently deceased parent can make a great Get Out of Jail Free card if used correctly. Good for boring dinner parties, to date requests, to work functions, to blog updates.

Back to the topic at hand: Your Mom Jokes. There are many different genera that fall under the family of YMJs, like the Yo Mamma’s So Fat and Yo Mamma’s So Dumb, and of course Yo Mamma’s So Dead, aka Dead Mom Jokes. And there are just as many different species of DMJ’s known to the Dead Mom’s Club, so we’ll be discussing just a couple today – The One Liner and The YMJ Comeback.

The One Liner

This is a single sentence referring to the lifeless state of one’s own or another individual’s mother. These are sometimes used when an individual has been offended or embarrassed and cannot think of a better thing to say, much like “oh yeah, well yo mamma _____”. However, I am not saying all of these retorts are considered base, for those who use timing, inflection and tone properly can surely make their mothers proud.

Furthermore, one liners do not need provocation; and when they are handed out unexpectedly, warm my soul. This is because these usually have more thought behind them, and hence a better bite. Example:

As you can see, Erica has responded to Alexis’ innocent question with an unsolicited Dead Mom One Liner. You’ve probably also noticed Erica’s mom is still alive, touching on another Pro Tip.

Pro Tip #2: You don’t have to have a dead mom to make a DMJ, as long as you’re cool enough with the person who does.

We’ll go into that more later.

The YMJ Comeback

This is the response to a YMJ made to a person who’s mother is in fact dead. The standard verbiage being “my mom’s dead”, with the accompanying facial expressions, body language and portrayed mood varying. It should also be noted, the knowledge of the mother’s passing by other individuals is a large factor in these comebacks. A person may 1. have no idea 2. not remember/do YMJs out of habit 3. have no idea, but the others around said person do. Here’s an example where #2 is a factor:

Alexis: “This classroom is cold and covered in ants.”

Person: “Your mom’s cold and covered in ants.”

Alexis: “Yes she is.”

A nonchalant, factual response worked best in this situation, rendering the instigator speechless and distraught, but like any situation what works best isn’t always the same. After all, “my mom’s dead”, has developed as a response to YMJs when the individual’s mother is actually still alive, so there’s plenty of room to play around. You can stay steadfast with a serious demeanor saying she’s dead, while perhaps others in the group desperately signal the attacking individual it is true when #3 is the case. Or you can break your stone face with a laugh, only to say it again, humorously or not. The possibilities are nearly endless.

There is a subsection of the YMJ Comeback, where a DMC member makes a YMJ joke to a person, which involves Pro Tip #2, but that will be for another day.

Some of you may have encountered such awkward situations where you discover a person’s parent has died, perhaps not from a YMJ, but from a seemingly innocuous question such as, “how’s your dad?”. How does one handle that?

Next time on Progeny of the Dead and Dying: Social Etiquette – when do you bring out your dead?